Growing Beyond Emotional Abuse

Resources for
Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse

Best Books for Adults with Abusive Partners

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing
by Beverly Engel

Emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. The number of people who are emotional abusers or who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally is phenomenal. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world’s leading experts on emotional abuse, shows us how to stop the cycle of abuse.

Engel’s work in the field has helped her gain a great deal of insight and empathy for both the victim and the abuser. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship shows emotionally abused people how to help themselves, as well as showing emotionally abusive people how to stop abusing. Engel covers all aspects of emotional abuse, including the patterns that begin in childhood, teaching us how to identify and understand emotional abuse. This prescriptive book combines dramatic personal stories with action steps to heal. Focusing on the dynamics of an emotionally abusive relationship, Engel provides strategies that will allow partners to work together to resolve their issues and stop the abuse. Her step-by-step program provides the skills needed to:

* Spot the warning signs that a partner is a potential abuser
* Establish firmer boundaries and develop a stronger sense of self
* Cope with the anger, stress, and insecurities that propel abuse
* Confront the abuser when he or she becomes abusive
* Stop blaming and start taking responsibility
* Determine whether or not the relationship is worth saving
* Prevent emotional abuse in the future

Engel also includes pertinent information on borderline personality disorder and its effects, as well as a section offering partners of individuals with BPD strategies for dealing with the types of emotional abuse they are likely to experience.

If you’re being abused, if you’re the abusive partner, or if you’re part of a couple who is abusing one another, this book can help you. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship offers the expert guidance and support you need to stop the abuse now–and start getting the help your relationship needs. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Love Without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One
by Steven Stosny

As many as one-third of all American women tiptoe through life as if they are walking on eggshells -- at home, they spend most of their time trying to avoid criticism, anger, put-downs, or cold shoulders from their husbands or boyfriends. This verbal and emotional abuse can erupt over anything and everything, matters large and small: housework, cooking, work, spending money, buying household items and clothes for the kids, and going out. Clearly, verbal and emotional abuse is a serious problem.

Relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny has been featured on national media for the revolutionary techniques he uses in his Compassion-Power and Boot Camp programs, which help men rewire their resentment and anger, stop using emotionally abusive language and behavior, and compassionately recommit to their marriages and families.

Now, in You Don't Have to Take It Anymore, Dr. Stosny puts his effective, highly sought-after program into print, making it widely available for the first time for women who want to stop walking on eggshells. Drawing on his seventeen years of experience treating thousands of clients, Dr. Stosny explains the many different forms a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship can take. He explains how to identify abuse and why it's important to take action to change the relationship -- for not only is verbal and emotional abuse monumentally destructive to both the adults in the relationship, it also hurts their children. Dr. Stosny shows women and men how to apply his methods at home, shows women how to get their men to change, and demonstrates how they can know if change is permanent. Additionally, Dr. Stosny's program helps women recover from the pain and abuse by practicing self-healing skills so that they can reclaim their natural sense of competence and confidence. Using language that is more compassionate and accessible than in any other book on relationship abuse -- and different tactics from most other therapies and therapists -- You Don't Have to Take It Anymore presents a practical program that both women and men can use to stop verbal and emotional abuse.

The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It
by Leslie Vernick

Leslie Vernick, counselor and social worker, has witnessed the devastating effects of emotional abuse. Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructive relationship and addresses the symptoms and the damage with biblical tools. Readers will understand how to:

* Reveal behaviors that are meant to control, punish, and hurt
* Confront and speak truth when the timing is right
* Determine when to keep trying, when to get out
* Get safe and stay safe
* Build an identity in Christ

This practical and thorough resource will help countless individuals, families, and churches view abuse from God’s perspective and understand how vital it is for victims to embrace His freedom from the physical, emotional, spiritual, and generational effects of emotionally destructive relationships.

No Visible Wounds: Identifying Non-Physical Abuse of Women by Their Men
by Mary Susan Miller Ph.D.


* have sudden outbursts of anger or rage?
* become jealous without reason?
* prevent you from seeing friends and family?
* deny you access to family assets such as bank accounts,
        credit cards, or the car?
* control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?
* insult you or call you derogatory names?
* humiliate you in front of your children?
* turn minor incidents into major arguments?

If you or someone you know can answer "yes" to the questions above, chances are you are suffering from nonphysical battering--controlling, tyrannical behavior that is just as damaging to a woman's self-esteem as a broken bone or a black eye. An experienced counselor who works with abused women, Mary Susan Miller breaks the silence that surrounds this devastating form of domestic violence. She identifies the many types of nonphysical abuse verbal, emotional, psychological, social, and economic--and explores why this outrageous treatment of women continues unabated in our society.

Dr. Miller also shares the stories of many survivors who have escaped their abusive relationships. Their experiences--with law enforcement, the legal system, and the community itself--can help prepare any woman for the decision of whether to stay or leave the relationship. And if she decides to go, Dr. Miller offers sound guidelines on how to protect herself and her children, since a woman's decision to leave is usually the time she is in the most danger from her abuser.

Finally, Dr. Miller inspires hope: You can break free of the nightmare of nonphysical battering and heal, once again engaging in a life of integrity, dignity, and peace.

But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost of Non-Physical Abuse to Girls and Women
by Dr. Jill A. Murray

When most people hear the word “abuse,” they naturally conjure up images of broken bones, black eyes, and bruises. But in truth, physical violence comprises the vast minority of abusive behaviors in any relationship. The overwhelming types of abuses are those that are difficult to recognize: verbal, emotional, psychological, financial, and spiritual.

Because no outward signs of mistreatment exist, these types of abuses usually go unnoticed, especially by the woman experiencing them. In particular, abusive comments often lead a woman in any unhealthy relationship to distrust her own reality and good sense.

But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost of Non-Physical Abuse to Girls and Women exposes the truth about these destructive behaviors and also reveals the red flags of a potentially abusive relationship. Women can explore their own background information to understand what led them to these men, the shocking costs that non-physically threatening relationships have on every part of their life, and ways in which they can make changes toward a more positive, healthy, and rewarding future.

Imperative for women of all ages, from teens through senior citizens, But He Never Hit Me joins and aligns a large and supportive community of women dedicated to healthy, rewarding relationships.

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
by Lundy Bancroft

"He doesn't mean to hurt me-he just loses control."
"He can be sweet and gentle."
"He's scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-he's a great father."
"He's had a really hard life..."

Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship, with:

* The early warning signs
* Nine abusive personality types
* How to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will
* The role of drugs and alcohol
* What can be fixed, and what can't
* How to leave a relationship safely

The Bully in Your Relationship: Stand Up to Emotional Abuse and Get the Love You Deserve
by Anne-Renee Testa

Are you being bullied in your relationship?

Maybe it's your husband, wife, partner, boyfriend, or girlfriend.

Maybe you feel you're being belittled or berated, manipulated, or controlled.

Maybe you try to shrug it off, telling yourself it's not so bad.

The truth is: You are a victim of emotional abuse--but you don't have to take it anymore.

You have the power to make it stop.

In this inspiring and life-changing book, acclaimed psychologist and relationship expert Anne-Renée Testa, Ph.D., shows you how to find your inner strength, learn to stand up for yourself, and finally get the love and respect you deserve.

The Emotionally Abused Woman : Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself
by Beverly Engel

If you feel unfairly criticized, controlled by others, or are afraid of being lonely, you could be suffering from emotional abuse. Now there is help in this compassionate sourcebook. Bevery Engel, a marriage, family, and child therapist, guides you through a step-by-step recovery process to help you heal the damage done in the past.

Books for Adult Children of Abusive Parents
Books for Adults with Abusive Partners
Books on Emotional Manipulation, Controlling Behavior and
Emotional Abuse in Various Relationships
Books on Verbal Abuse