Breaking

the

Chain

of

Low

Self-Esteem

by
MARILYN J. SORENSEN, Ph.D.

Finally, a book that fully illuminates the experience of low self-esteem: the fear and the anxiety, the self-doubts and self-criticism, the self-defeating behaviors, and the insecurity in relationships and careers.  If you have low self-esteem, this book is about you and for you.

Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem will empower you to face life with new courage and enthusiasm.  Reading it will motivate you to alter self-sabotaging behaviors, challenge you to overcome your fears, teach you to value yourself, inspire you to change your thinking, and enable you to make better choices in relationships and in other areas of your life.

[from the back flap of the softbound edition]

Marilyn Sorensen, Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem

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Book

About the Author

Marilyn J. Sorensen, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and consultant in Portland, Oregon, with over 21 years in private practice, specializing in issues of self-esteem and relationships.  Dr. Sorensen is also the co-founder of the Northwest Women's Studies Institute which provides workshops and training for the general public.

[from the back flap of the softbound edition]

Table of Contents

Contents

Preface     1
Chapter 1 Low Self-Esteem     9
How is this Negative View formed?    11

Who Suffers from Low Self-Esteem?   21
Questionnaire on Self-Esteem   23
Chapter 2 Facing Fear & Anxiety   33
Four Specific Fears Accompanying
Low Self-Esteem

  36
Two Extremes: Underachievers
and Overachievers
 
  60
Attaining New Skills:
Floaters & Paddlers
 
  63
Chapter 3 Life is a Minefield   75
Triggering Incidents   82
Memory Loss   84
Chapter 4 Ending the Self-Sabotage   95
Rigidity  103

Getting Needs Met Through Others  105
Two Extremes: Noisy Reactors
and Quiet Reactors

 110
Chapter 5 Learning to be Alone  127
The Experience of Being Alone  128
Being Alone: The real issues for
those with LSE

 132
Extroversion & Introversion  139
Why Even Be in a Relationship  149
Chapter 6 Listening to and Controlling
Our Inner Voice  167
Two Extremes: Superiority or Inferiority  176
Comparison with Others  181
Feelings Can be Changed  182
Chapter 7 The Search for
Unconditional Love  191
Feeling Unlovable  192
The Need to be Loved and Accepted  193
When Trust is Broken  196
Feelings Ignored and Devalued  204
The Anger-Guilt Cycle  208
Chapter 8 The Relentless Pursuit of
Validation  213
The Set-up and Testing  214
Two Extremes in Relating  215
Counting Behaviors  220
Scenarios  224
Hidden Agendas  226
Unequal Partners  231
Chapter 9 Altering the Patterns of LSE  239
Stage 1: The Critical Incident  243
Stage 2: Devastation  243
Stage 3: Anger  245
Stage 4: Scenario  246
Stage 5: Confrontation  248
Stage 6: Rationality  249
Assertive, Passive, Aggressive,
Passive-Aggressive

 251
Chapter 10 Empowered to Build
a New Life  265
The Process of Change  268
Why The Need For Therapy  274
How To Choose a Therapist  277

[from the softbound edition]

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Reviews

"Developing a healthy self-esteem is the most valuable gift you will ever give yourself. Dr. Sorensen leads the reader clearly from confusion to clarity in how to find freedom and a new way to live."

--Mary Manin Morrissey,
Founder & Sr. Minister of
Living Enrichment Center
Author of
Building Your Field Of Dreams
by Bantam


"This fascinating book presents startling new insights into the experience of low self-esteem. Anyone who has struggled with the challenge of self-doubt will feel more deeply understood, valued and hopeful as a result of reading it."

--Sandra K. Pinches, Ph.D.,
Clinical Psychologist, Portland, Oregon

[from the back cover of the softbound edition]


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Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem


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Excerpts

"This book presents a guideline for understanding the effects of low self-esteem in life and offers insights in approaching the problem. Numerous examples, observations, and explanations provide a new understanding and a plan for alleviating the lingering pain that accompanies low self-esteem. Addressing the five points below, this book will give you a fresh approach to gaining peace and satisfaction in your life.

"This book will address this formidable foe--low self-esteem--in five ways.
  • You will acquire a vivid picture of exactly what low self-esteem is and how it developed in you.
  • You will learn the various ways self-esteem plays out on a daily basis and discover how it interferes with, and negatively impacts, nearly every aspect of life. You will increase your awareness of how low self-esteem may presently be affecting your own choices and actions.
  • You will develop an understanding of the basic dysfunctional behavior patterns common among those with low self-esteem.
  • You will recognize that there is hope in alleviating the effects of low self-esteem.
  • You will receive direction on how to begin to tackle the problem."

Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem
pages 2 -3


"People with LSE generally find themselves at one of the extremes of achievement, either as an overachiever or as an underachiever. Some take the road of continually channeling their energies into attempts to receive recognition, approval, and affirmation, become highly successful in their careers and educational endeavors; they are driven; they are 'overachievers.' They may become workaholics in their attempts to increase their sense of self-worth: obsessive about completing projects, constantly striving from perfection, or continually taking on huge new undertakings...

"Others slink back in fear, never realizing their skills or talents. In their insecurity, they are afraid to try new things and are frightened by the challenges they face, vulnerable to the possibility of failure and humiliation. While these people are often capable and bright, they do not recognize or utilize their skills because their motivation has been so repressed and their fear of failure is so great..."

Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem
page 60


"Loneliness has little to do with whether a person is coupled or single. Many people who are married or coupled are still lonely, while many single people are not. Instead, people feel lonely when they lack emotional connections with others...

"There are five levels on which all people can communicate with others. They are: the surface level, the factual level, the thinking level, the feeling level, and the intimacy level. Learning first to like ourselves, learning secondly how to communicate on all of these levels, and learning thirdly to find trustworthy, caring people with whom to communicate are the steps to overcoming loneliness. All three of these elements are necessary; the key to feeling content rather than feeling lonely, however, lies in our ability to develop and maintain a relationship in which we can communicate at the two deepest levels of communication, the feeling and intimacy levels."

Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem
pages 145 -46
[from the softbound edition]



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Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem


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