Love Thyself

Rather than learning how to be tolerant of difficult feelings, many of us have learned only to avoid them... our inclination is often to run from our emotions because they carry with them the threat of destruction. Indulging ourselves in thinking as a protective alternative, we try to avoid our fear by staying aloof of our feelings.

Mark Epstein, M.D.
Going to Pieces without Falling Apart
p. 102


Articles for Enhancing Adult Self-Esteem

Articles for Enhancing a Child's Self-Esteem

Articles for Enhancing Adult Self-Esteem
Answering Misconceptions about Self-Esteem
By Nathaniel Branden, from Self-Esteem Today magazine, published by the National Association for Self-Esteem (NASE).  Article discusses the definition of self-esteem, whether a teacher's desire to nurture self-esteem interferes with academic achievement, whether a desire to improve self-esteem constitutes self-absorption, whether someone can have too much self-esteem, is self-esteem determined by parental upbring or approval by "significant others", whether good looks, popularity and wealth guarantee self-esteem, whether high self-esteem means nothing bothers you, and once achieved, can high self-esteem be maintained forever.
Reflections on Happiness
By Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D., from his book Taking Responsibility: Self-Reliance and the Accountable Life. Article discusses a commitment to happiness, putting negatives in the background and positives in the foreground, and not tormenting yourself over those things out of your control.
Passion and Soulfulness
By Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D. Article discusses being attentive to what we enjoy in life, how to sustain a passion for living, and staying focused on the present.
What Is Self-Esteem?
Article provides several brief concepts that define self-esteem and some points for maintaining a healthy self-esteem.
What Are People with Low Self-Esteem Like?
Article defines people with low self-esteem as either feeling down on themselves or angry with a need to get even, and provides examples and commentary.
What Are People with High Self-Esteem Like?
Article defines high self-esteem with examples.
Who's Standards?
Article explains the "tyranny of The Shoulds", the need to compare ourselves with others and become oppressed by what we should be.
How to Talk to Yourself
Article details the negative messages we tell ourselves.
Celebrate Your Strengths
Article discuss how to evaluate your strengths and use positive messages to bolster your self-esteem.
Getting Feedback from Others
Article encourages the obtaining of positive feedback from others to measure your own notions of your self-esteem.
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
By Paula D. Lingo from the Magic Stream website. The author relates her personal story of how a negative self-image and a lack of self respect and self love infected many of her life decisions. She then explains how she overcame these difficulties to improve her life.
Self-Concept and Self-Esteem
By W. Huitt from the Bishops College Guidance Department website. The author explains the differences between self-concept and self-esteem and the effect of achievement on our concept of self. This is an academic article which includes complete references.
Women and Self Esteem
By Darla Walker from The author explains how one can develop a well-balanced sense of self-esteem. Issues discussed include a definition of self-esteem, why we have the need to feel significant and how we can maintain our self-esteem in the face of setbacks.
Necessary or Needy?
by Susan Kramer. A lengthy discussion of one's need for attachments versus what is really necessary for us to thrive. The article includes a discussion of self-esteem, acceptance, compulsion, expectations in relationships, materialism, unconditional love, and substituting action for neediness.
Selfish - Selfless - Self-Love
by Marie T. Russell for The author explains the difference between being overly concerned with your own interest (selfishness) and acknowledging who you are, where you've been, and where you are going (self-love) and how to determine which motivation is driving you.
Who's To Judge?
by Marie T. Russell for A discussion of ways we might exercise more patience and understanding with ourselves and learn to accept the child within us.
I Am My Scars
by Gary Reece, Ph.D. A discussion of turning our painful realities into personal victories and how our response to these realities shapes our lives.
Self-Esteem: Things to Remember
from the Counselling Services - University of Victoria. A listing of profound thoughts on challenging low self-esteem.
The Lost Art of Self-Esteem: A Primer on How to Recapture It
by Chaya Harnik and from The Jewish Renaissance Center. A discussion of self-esteem from the perspective of the Jewish faith with a formula for being "selfish", that is, being true to that which is most important to us.
What is Self-Esteem?
This article explores the elements of self-esteem: trust, self-nurture, autonomy, identity and intimacy and steps of action to improve self-esteem.
Ten Ways Higher Self-Esteem Fosters Better Teamwork
By Steve Wilson, MA, CSP. Describes ten benefits managers can expect when they pay attention to this often overlooked aspect of great teamwork.
By Rev. James W. Watkins. The problem of low self-esteem is discussed from a spiritual point of view.
Self-love and Scripture
By Randy Alcorn. An examination of what the Biblical scriptures say about self-esteem that concludes, "if we make self-love an ideal to be focused on and cultivated rather than an already existing reality to be directed away from ourselves and toward God and others, it is bound to do nothing more than propel us down the ancient and tragic path of selfishness."
Two Sources of Self-Esteem: Secular & Christian
By Randy Alcorn. An overview of the basis of self-esteem from the secular and Judeo-Christian points of view.
Transformation - It Is All about Questions
By Nisandeh Neta, from Self-Improvement Newsletter. Some thoughts on transforming your life by questioning your beliefs, opinions and points of view.
Manifesting - Create Your Own Reality
By Nisandeh Neta, from Self-Improvement Newsletter. We all create our own realities from our thoughts, feelings, choices and beliefs. This article discusses this creative process and takes a step towards making adjustments and creating something different.
Bolstering Beliefs
By Louise Morganti Kaelin, from Self-Improvement Newsletter. Negative beliefs don't stop us from wanting or desiring something. Overcome your negative beliefs by making a list of those items you "actively" desire and that you still have not been able to create. This article explains an exercise to get at your underlying negative beliefs in order to change them.
Blueprints for Building Self-Esteem
By Mary Ellen Copeland, MS, MA. This article provides some idea for building self-esteem including taking care of yourself, changing negative thoughts to positive ones, getting something done, reviewing your accomplishments, doing something for someone else and a short list of quick ideas to raise your self-esteem.
Let Stress Work for You - Learn to Worry Well and Benefit from Stress
By Roger Elliott. The ability to stress, to worry about possible dangers and prepare for them, has been a crucial factor in the development and survival of mankind. This article provides four steps to make stress work for you.
Self-Love: A Definition
By Connie Barrett. How you feel about yourself has a lot to do with how others feel about you. An examination of self-love including a definition and how it is distinguished from egotism.
To Succeed at Anything in Life You Must Know How And When to be Assertive
By Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D. "When you are assertive, you honor your desires, needs and values...without throwing your weight around. Being assertive requires strength -- not belligerence or inappropriate aggressive behavior." Learn how to develop a healthy level of self-assertiveness without offending other people.
Developing Self-Belief - The 10 Step Process - Part 1
By Nick Best. This series of articles discusses how the beliefs that we hold about ourselves work to create actions that support those beliefs. So, if we believe we are likely to fail, our subconscious mind will work to create actions which support this. Ten steps are presented to develop beliefs that will help you achieve your goals. Part 2; Part 3; and Part 4.
Self Esteem - The Problem Behind All Problems
By Asoka Selvarajah, Ph.D. Many people who suffer from low self-esteem attribute their life challenges to wholly different causes. It does not even occur to them to relate their problems to how they regard themselves at the deepest level. This articles discusses how low self-esteem arises and methods to improve self-esteem.
Love Enough To Let Others Heal
By Linda-Ann Stewart. A discussion of "enabling" and how letting others hurt us hurts them. Self-love involves caring about ourselves and loving the person who hurts us enough to allow them to experience the consequences of their actions.
Unconditional Love (Starting with You)
By Kathy Brandt. "Unconditional love. If we expect that from someone to make us feel safe and loved, wanted and desired, don't we have to understand what it is? Don't we have to feel it for ourselves before we can accept or expect anyone else to give it to us?" A discussion of how we might achieve unconditional love for ourselves including three ideas: focusing on who you are; speaking out loud the things you deserve, and; returning to times that bring up negative feelings where your needs were not met.
The Top 10 Self-Care List - Part 1
By Maria Marsala. "What can you do differently the next time you find yourself overwhelmed or stressed out? How can you add additional self-caring rituals to your life? This article lists some examples of interesting things to do when what you need is a "serenity break."
Do Christians Need Self-Esteem?
By Bill McGrane. "Real self-esteem principles are not separate from Godly principles. In truth, Jesus is the perfect example of a person with healthy self-esteem. For us to obey His commandments and live our lives in harmony with His teachings, we also need healthy self-esteem." This article looks at self-esteem through Biblical passages and suggests that improving self-esteem can lead to a better relationship with God.
The Power
By Clyde Dennis. "You have absolute control over whether or not you allow an intended insult to be an insult. You have absolute control over whether or not you’re going to allow yourself to be upset by an event or circumstance or if you’re going to smile right through it accepting it as just another classroom experiment." This article discusses how you can control your life experiences and get off the emotional roller coaster of bad days.
Redefining Beauty
By Karinna Kittles. "More and more women and men are feeling the effects of fear based advertising. This is advertising and TV that perpetuates the age myth, the size myth, and the beauty myth. Companies that use these tactics, feed low self esteem and teach unreachable idealism, creating a society which is unsatisfied with itself and one obsessed with outer perfection." This article discusses how we sometimes minimize valuable parts of ourselves and how we can begin to value our authentic selves more fully.
Boosting Your Self-Esteem with Nurturing Aromatherapy Blends
By Francoise Rapp. This article discusses how different aromatherapy blends can aid your emotional well being. Included are blend formulas for depression, to minimize anger, to alleviate anxiety, to ease fears, and increase assertiveness.
Boosting Your Self-Esteem with Nurturing Aromatherapy Blends, Part 2
By Francoise Rapp. This article continues the discussion of how different aromatherapy blends can aid your emotional well being. Included are blend formulas for social avoidance, for those who are lacking the sense of true self, dependency, violence, and for those with a fear or avoidance of healthy relationships.
How to Overcome a Confidence Crisis
By Caterina Rando, MA, MCC. This article suggests some idea for boosting confidence including keeping a journal, showing gratitude, using affirmations, evaluating your relationships, starting new relationships, joining support groups, changing your behavior, speaking up, and taking a risk a day.
"Within You"
By Wendy Hill, MFT. "You are a miracle... The moment that you awaken to this fact is the moment that you begin to experience the miracle... It is your birth right to experience life and its deepest satisfactions." This article affirms what is within ourselves to unlock the door to happiness.
Boosting Your Self Esteem – Because You're Worth It
By Jeanne Johnson. An article about affirmations with a few ideas to encourage your inner voice to tell you that you are okay and thus, increase your confidence.
What Can You Count On When You Don't Know What To Do?
By Robert Knowlton. "Self-confidence, self-empowerment, and self-worth all have one thing in common. Self... When you are called on to compete in this world, the only thing you can really call upon is what's inside yourself." This article discusses the exploration of the self, our strengths, characteristics and abilities, to meet the challenges of life.
The Black Hole Where Your Dreams Belong
By Molly Gordon. "Do you know a lot about what you DON'T want? If so, beware. The gravitational pull of negativity is extraordinary, and you may well manifest your incredible power by attracting a nice fat black hole where your dreams belong." Some thoughts on how fear causes us to avoid things and become inarticulate about those things we do want and what we can do about it.
Habits: Out with the Bad -- in with the Good
By Roy Burton. Ten steps recommended for breaking those bad habits that are dragging you down.
7 Helpful Tips to Immediately Increase Your Confidence
By Kent Sayre. Seven ideas to provide insight and help in raising your self-confidence.
Our Urgent Need For Self-Esteem
By Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D. "Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves. That judgment impacts every moment and every aspect of our existence. Our self-evaluation is the basic context in which we act and react, choose our values, set our goals, meet the challenges that confront us. Our responses to events are shaped in part by whom and what we think we are -- our self-esteem." This article explains how self-esteem is the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness.

Articles for Enhancing a Child's Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem and It's Relationship to Alcohol and Substance Abuse Prevention in Adolescents
By Joseph Donnelly, Ph.D. and Carolyn Eadie, from Self-Esteem Today magazine, published by the National Association for Self-Esteem (NASE).  This article considers the relationship of self-esteem and adolescent alcohol and drug use. It explains how self-esteem enhancement as part of a prevention program is supported by existing theory and how it has advantages over traditional school-based alcohol and substance abuse prevention programs.
Bully Advice for Kids
Written for children by Kathy Noll, this article discusses how being bullied affects kids, why children become bullies and what a child can do if they are being tormented by a bully.
Advice for Parents & Teachers on Bullies &Victims
By Kathy Noll, from her book with Dr. Jay Carter, Taking the Bully by the Horns. This article discusses whether certain children are more likely to be bullied, what can be done to help a child being victimized by a bully, and advice for the parents of a bully.
Magic Circle to Enhance Children's Self-Esteem
By Murray White. This article discusses some very unique ways a teacher might enhance the self-esteem of his students, including creating an exercise that allows children to speak freely, selecting a special child for each day and having fellow students provide feedback to the special child on her favorable qualities.
Self-Esteem Builders
From "Teacher Talk", Vol. 3, No. 2, Indiana University - The Center for Adolescent Studies. This is a list of ideas a teacher might use to enhance a student's self-esteem. It applies to all grade levels.
Self-Esteem for Preschool and School-age Children
From the Bruce Grey Owen Sound Health Unit. A list of suggestions for parents to enhance the self-esteem of preschoolers and school-age children.
Help Your Child Grow Self-Esteem
A list of tips for enhancing a child's self-esteem including how to listen to your child, praise your child and discipline your child.
Proper Discipline Adds Self-Esteem
An article describing how to provide a child positive discipline to enhance their self-esteem.
Use the Language of Self-Esteem
This article provides detailed examples of how to discipline your child without destroying their self-esteem.
Use Realistic Praise for Self-Esteem
A child knows when praise is not realistic. This article explains how to praise your child to enhance their self-esteem.
Rule of Three in Discipline and Self-Esteem
This article provides a coherent strategy for disciplining your child while enhancing their self-esteem.
Receipes for Self-Esteem
These pages are designed for teachers of elementary and middle school students and contain a significant number of short and longer exercises that can be used to assist in building students' self-esteem within the classroom setting.
Give It Your Best Shot
This article is designed for older students and covers the definition of self-esteem, whether mistakes make us a failure, whether other people's opinions are important, the significance of self-esteem in attaining goals, and how to build self-esteem. Comments from other students are included.
A Deaf Man Emphasizes Self-Esteem
This article presents one man's experiences and opinions on the unique challenges in building self-esteem in deaf children.
Distinctions between Self-Esteem and Narcissism: Implications for Practice
By Lilian G. Katz. This is an entire on-line booklet which suggests that educators may need to re-think many of the strategies currently used to foster self-esteem in children; and urges educators to think about what really creates in all of us a sense of self-worth. Topics covered include: developmental considerations, cultural variations, praise and appreciate, coping with reversals, worthwhile activities.
Promoting Your Child's Self Esteem
from Family Service Canada. A list of thoughtful suggestions on how a parent might enhance their child's self esteem.
Child Violence - How to Prevent Your Child from Becoming a Statistic
by Kathy Noll. This article provides some statistics about bullying, details the different types of bullying behavior, profiles a bully's psychological make up, and suggests some ideas for protecting your child.
Your Role in Your Children's Self-Esteem
by Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D. An outline for making certain your child has the confidence to deal with life's basic challenges. Article includes the importance of treating your child with respect, the value of touch, how to inspire rather than demand, and how to encouarge your child's curiosity.

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