Growing beyond
Emotional Abuse

Recommended Books

You Can't Say that to Me: Stopping the Pain of Verbal Abuse -- An 8-Step Program by Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D.
Each of us occasionally feels the sting of very unpleasant language from those who are closest to us -- spouses, employers, friends, relatives. But frequent and repeated use of unanswerable questions, scalding accusations, sarcasm, insinuations, and even icy silence is more than simply unpleasant; it is abusive, destructive and frequently leads to escalating arguments and physical violence. Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D., has developed a unique and revolutionary way to break the cycle of verbal violence and eliminate it from your life -- without ruining your marriage, risking your job, or alienating friends or loved ones. Dr. Elgin shows you how to neutralize verbal attacks and discourage future abuse. She helps you discover that you are an expert in your own language, already highly qualified to solve this problem for yourself, quickly and forever.
The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life by Dr. Patricia Love with Jo Robinson
This book describes a syndrome known as emotional incest, a surprisingly common but rarely identified style of parenting in which parents turn to their children, not to their partners, for emotional support. In adulthood, victims are likely to be plagued by depression, chronic low-level anxiety, problems with self-esteem and love relationships, overly loose or rigid personal boundaries, some form of sexual dysfunction, eating disorders and drug or alcohol addiction.
The Secret of Overcoming Verbal Abuse: Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster and Regaining Control of Your Life by Albert Ellis, Ph.D. and Marcia Grad Powers
This book describes the runaway emotional roller coaster many woman experience with their partner at the controls. If you are being mistreated by your partner, this book can dramatically change your life. You will learn an entirely new way of perceiving and coping with your relationship and your feelings. Whether you want to stay, need to stay, or plan to leave, this book can help you to set yourself free from confusion, anxiety, frustration, self-doubt, guilt, anger, and depression; restore your dignity, self-respect, self-love, and personal power; and create the inner peace and happiness you have wanted, wished for, and in tearful private moments prayed for--perhaps for years.
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Dr. Susan Forward with Craig Buck
The hurtful legacy of toxic parents manifests itself in adulthood as difficulties with relationships, careers, decision making, and depression. Whatever the burden you carry--from the shame of family alcoholism or abandonment to the scars of verbal or physical abuse to the ultimate betrayal of incest--Dr. Forward can help release you from the demons of self-blame once and for all! You are not to blame for what happened to you as a child--but you can do something about it now!
You Don't Have to Take It! A Woman's Guide to Confronting Emotional Abuse at Work by Ginny NiCarthy, Naomi Gottlieb, Sandra Coffman
You Don't Have to Take It! is a book that can help you recognize and respond to emotional abuse on the job by giving you tools to take control of your working life. Packed with information, the book provides exercises and practical advice for coping with controlling, abusive supervisors and harassing co-workers, as well as suggestions for assertive confrontation and workplace organizing.
Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Relationship and Recovery by Patricia Evans
If your partner: seems irritated or angry at you several times a week; denies being angry when he clearly is; does not work with you to resolve important issues; rarely or never seems to share thoughts or plans with you; or tells you that he has no idea what you're talking about when you try to discuss important need this book.
Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and the Erosion of Identity by Marie-France Hirigoyen
Dr. Marie-France Hirigoyen lays bare the destructive "hidden" phenomenon of emotional abuse. She argues that while emotional abuse is not as visible as physical abuse, it is equally violent -- and perhaps even more widespread. It is a crime whose aim is, she says, "a virtual murder of the soul." Stalking the Soul is a call to recognize and understand emotional abuse and, most importantly, to overcome it. Sophisticated yet wholly accessible, this landmark account is vital reading for health professionals and victims of abuse, as well as for the concerned public. In 1995 Daniel Goleman showed the world that emotions shape our intelligence. Today Marie-France Hirigoyen shows that emotions shape our entire being -- indeed, our very soul.
Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them: Breaking the Cycle of Physical and Emotional Abuse by Paul Hegstrom
Domestic abuse knows no boundaries. Paul Hegstrom should know. From the earliest years of his marriage, he handled his problems and frustrations the only way he knew how: with fists and fury. With professional help and an intense struggle with spiritual issues, he began the lengthy process of healing and recovery. Through a fascinating, yet thorough examination of the psychological components of various types of abuse, along with true examples from his own life and others, Hegstrom points the way back to wholeness and freedom. An invaluable aid for the man who batters, the woman who feels trapped, and the pastor, counselor, or friend who desperately want to help them both, Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them offers straight answers for those willing to overcome the cycle of violence.
Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You by Patricia Evans
In Controlling People, bestselling author Patricia Evans tackles the "controlling personality," and reveals how and why these people try to run other people's lives. She also explains the compulsion that makes them continue this behavior -- even as they alienated others and often lose those they love.
Emotional Abuse: The Trauma and the Treatment by Marti Tamm Loring
Emotional Abuse is an essential tool for understanding the powerful and insidious mechanisms of this subtle, but destructive, form of abuse. This groundbreaking book explores the components of emotional abuse, whether occurring alone or in the presence of physical abuse, and presents a new model for its treatment.
Verbal Abuse: Healing the Hidden Wound by Dr. Grace

Words can kill. They assault your self-esteem, curse your future, and stamp a lethal label on your life. If words pierced your heart as a child, if they have wounded your marriage, or sent your career into a tailspin, you may be a victim of verbal abuse. This book can help you learn how to deal with the pain in order to heal the wounds. Verbal Abuse explores the kinds of family systems that perpetuate abuse. Dr. Grace Ketterman explains what verbal abuse sounds like and the kind of people most likely to be abused and to become abusers. She can help you determine whether you are suffering from abuse and how to start on the road to emotional and spiritual recovery.

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